Tomorrow, the boy and I close on the sale of our first home together. And while I’m grateful that we got such an awesome offer ($10k over asking!!) in such a crappy economy and excited to stick that cash into our pathetic, depleted, savings, I’m sad and feeling a little lost.
I left home when I was 14. For the next 12 years I hopped between more dorm rooms, rentals, and generous friend’s couches than I can count. I never stayed in one place very long. None of them felt like home. When I was 26 I took every last penny to my name and bought a 1 bedroom condo a block from the beach. I had been living in the neighborhood for a year and loved it. I was ready for something to feel like home. The very first thing I did, after moving in, was to paint all the walls. Then, I unpacked my books. I loved that little place.
I stayed for 3 years. It was early 2007 and the boy and I had just gotten back from a Christmas holiday in the hills of Georgia. We spent hours wandering through the woods talking and dreaming and scheming. Somewhere along the way we decided we should move in together. I put my little home on the market. A day after listing I was in escrow*. Because of the crazy real estate market, the little condo I had bought for a modest sum had nearly doubled in price. We decided to buy something. Frantically we searched for a place. Houses further out in the suburbs, sad little shacks closer to town.
In the end we fell for with a 2 bedroom condo just a floor above my first one. People laughed when I told them, but I was overjoyed to be staying in my neighborhood where I could walk to the beach on lazy Saturdays, where I felt at home.
From the start we had over-zealous visions of ripping out walls and making the place “our own”. In the almost 4 years that we lived there we tore out the downstairs, rebuilt the kitchen, laid new floors, painted all the walls, built a massive bookshelf, enlarged a bathroom, scraped the ugly popcorn off the ceilings, amassed an impressive array of power tools and made a home. The night the boy proposed we cooked dinner together in our kitchen, sat at our dining room table and drank too much wine, then paced the hall while making calls to our family and friends to share the news. After our wedding we sprawled out on the living room floor opening presents, reading cards, and eating the food we had been too busy to eat earlier. We’ve laughed and fought and watched our lives change there. The boy wasn’t the first boyfriend I lived with, but he is the first person I’ve felt at home living with.
Technically we moved out almost 2 weeks ago. But it still feels like we’re cheating on our home. This afternoon we’ll go by one last time to take pictures of the place, pick up any lingering things** and say goodbye.
*Since this has now been my experience twice, I am convinced my broker (who is also a very good friend) is my lucky charm.
**Probably tools. Or paint.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Well congrats on the sale of your place, in any case! Big transition, I’m sure. Are you in a new home already?
Yes! We moved at the beginning of the month actually so we could take our time with it.
new beginnings often come with a sad goodbye but the memories will stay with you and you will create new ones.
What a beautiful post. Left me feeling that wistful little stab in my heart. Your old home will always be special. Here’s to you and your boy making your new place home.
congrats on a new home, first.
second, i know the pang. i get it after leaving a dingy, meaningless dorm room for a semester. isaiah and i are just about to leave our first “home” (apt) together and i know i’ll feel that loss. i can’t imagine what extent you’re feeling it, lady. i think it’s gonna get more and more beautiful from here though.
Your first home together will always hold a special place in your heart. It will probably take awhile to get over. But you guys are doing what’s best for the two of you and your next home will be a place where you experience new major moments and transitions.
I’ve missed you, KC! This post makes sense. My mom always said she didn’t understand people who didn’t get attached to their homes, especially if there were good memories there. It was the first home you shared together and I think you’ll always look back on it as a magical place. We’re only renting and I’m not sure how long we’ll be here, but we put a lot of love into this place and it’s the first apartment that has felt like “ours,” so I think it’ll be hard to leave. Congrats on the sale and good luck finding a new place. I’m sure you’ll make wonderful memories at the next one, too.
Thank you for all the lovely comments. It’s been hard for some people in our lives to understand how I’m feeling since it was my choice to sell in the first place. It was the right choice for us, but it’s bittersweet.
Congrats! Great post. And I concur: You’ve been missed! I’m happy to hear your writerly voice again. I hope you two enjoy making new memories in the new house! Think of the many milestones to come: First anniversary, for one. And, one day, it may be the house you bring your first baby into. There’s lots and lots to look forward to. But I understand your sentiment. My parents sold my childhood home a few years ago, and I still drive by sometimes (um, this sounds creepy) and gaze upon the house fondly. I mowed that backyard EVERY summer! Some places will always be special to you: 208 Verona Avenue is that place for me. xo.
The house we left in Nashville was my first home purchase and it was sad at the closing. I felt I was saying the final farewell to my single life. So many little things like that still give me a little ache in my heart. I ♥ The Candyman and being married, but there are just some single things I miss. Like my house.